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    master5o1
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    Original Content thread

    Post  master5o1 on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:26 am

    Only post shit that you have made up yourself.
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    Hephaestus
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    Re: Original Content thread

    Post  Hephaestus on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:35 am

    ummm

    Rolling Eyes
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    master5o1
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    Re: Original Content thread

    Post  master5o1 on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:36 am

    It was a crude Sunday morning when Max noticed the toaster repetitively whirring past her in some sort of circular motion. At about twenty-five to eleven in the morning she woke up with the consequences of the pub crawl last night. Her muscles slowly arose from their slumber, allowing her to have control over her body once again. Attempting to roll around In the bed was an utter failure, there was some object in her way. Upon realising what the object was Max felt the need to throw up.

    Realising her disgust for what she may have done, Max pulled her slender, naked body out of the bed, walked over to the linen closet and grabbed a towel, proceeding to the bathroom for a nice, hot shower. Under the constant drizzle of warm water Max cleaned herself thoroughly. With a flannel she rubbed her beautiful olive skin arms, working her way to her shoulders, across her chest, around her tummy and onto her legs. She washed her silky brown hair with a very foamy shampoo. After cleaning she just stood there, wondering what may have happened between her and that lump still lying on the bed. From her eyes streamed tears that dripped to the floor disappearing into the puddle of water, only to be sucked into the drain below her.

    After about half an hour of wasting water on a good cause Max decided to get out of the shower. She grabbed a towel and dried her saturated hair, rubbed herself dry. She hung the towel up and went back to her room to find some clothes.

    James' head emerged from covers revealing what the bed lump was. He surprised Max with a backfired compliment of her beauty, prompting Max to cover herself up rather hastily. Like Max, James was also completely naked, and quickly getting cold from the lack of material covering his torso. He too decided to have a shower, requesting, in vein, for Max to join him.

    The previous night was James' twentieth birthday. Max had celebrated her nineteenth about a month earlier. Max didn't expect to have slept in the same bed as James, let alone anyone at all.

    While James had his shower, Max went to the kitchen to get something to eat. There isn't much in the pantry, nor the fridge. Max settled on some toast with Vegemite and honey. The pale colour of the honey failed to keep her mind from thinking about James' shaven face, which indeed had a similar colour to clover honey. Thankfully she didn't choose peanut butter, a similar colour to James' hair.

    James left at nearly eleven thirty. Max just sat there on the couch, texting her best friend, Ellie.

    Max and Ellie have been friends since year two in primary school. They shared many interests, did almost everything together, knew everything about each other. Ellie was also a little bit hung over from last night, however, she was fortunate enough to not be in the same predicament as Max.

    At the local café, Max and Ellie are conversing over the events that each remember took place the previous night, while sipping on their mochas. Max told her recollection with Ellie filling in bits she remembered. They continued to talk it over until dinner time, with the occasional text message to James.

    Eventually the two of them leave the café and walk to Max' house. There they spend the night watching TV and talking about stuff. At eleven Ellie and Max retired to Max's bedroom, currently the only bed in the house.


    As they climbed the stairs Max felt a wave of drowsiness wash over her. She was a moderate drinker at the best of times, and this feeling was unlike any she had felt before. Max shrugged the feeling off and carried on walking up the stairs. Ellie seemed to move faster and faster up the stairs and Max felt as though she was forcing her body with every step she took. As Max approached her bed she started stumbling and fell.

    Max sat up on her bed so fast the wind going past her ears almost deafened her, her eyes remained closed for a second as the blood started pumping to her head and her brain received juice to carry out basic tasks. The sunlight burnt her corneas and her pupils contracted rapidly before she managed to face away from the windows. What happened last night? The brain patched parts of the night before together slowly. Where is Ellie?

    Max eased herself out of bed and shuffled to her bedroom door. She peeked out to her hallway and looked left and right. Nothing, no one. Max approached the stairs and began her descent. The same stairs that last night, almost seemed never ending.

    As Max approached the base of her stairs her heart felt as though it was coming up her throat. The sight that she encountered was one that scarred her for the rest of her life.



    It truly was a sight to see; something to tell those now unlikely grandchildren. Something so terrible it would make sure that they would eat all their vegetables - including the brussel sprouts. Now, that terrible thing was well, a thing, of such terrible proportions that it resembled James if you scrunched your eyes and thought of caffeine addicted squirrels. Then again you could sort of see a certain similarity to Ellie on a bad hair day. While her eyes were fixed to this creature she didn’t notice the pin that had been tacked onto the lowest point of the banister – a rather sharp fellow with scaring potential. Her yelp of pain surprised the critter downstairs so much that it flicked the light switch illuminating the room with some funky disco lights. What she saw before her truly trumped the pin in scaring ability for it was James having a good crack at his qualifying routine for the local roller disco try outs Tuesday next. It was a hullabaloo of hair, sweat and pure untainted eagerness. Such was the ferocity of his display that Ellie was slumped over a nearby couch after having been subjected to the devious plea of ‘Could you watch and give me a few pointers.



    Ellie was feeling both suicidal and homicidal. She was disproportionately relieved when Max skipped through the lounge doorway and yelled: “Are you guys ready to paaaartaaay tonight?”. Max looked wild. Her hair had escaped from whatever she had used to attempt to try and tie it back and looked prepared for world domination. James stopped suddenly and looked at Ellie, or at least where she had been sitting.

    Ellie jumped at the opportunity to escape and practically ran to her room. She shut the door firmly behind her, slid the flimsy lock in place and eyed the window with intent. Unfortunately, her plans of escape from both James and Max where interrupted when her door flung open, the lock flying across the room and burying itself in a pile of dirty clothes and the handle slamming into Ellie's back.

    "Owww! What the f-” She began, but was cut off when Max poked her head in. "Tonight we are going to get drunk!" Max declared, with the enthusiasm of a town crier. She pulled a still-startled Ellie from the floor and slapped her on the back with gusto. "Very drunk".

    As they emerged from Ellie's room, they came across James in the hallway. He looked from Max to Ellie and back again,confusion abundant on his face.. Max gave James her famous whithering stare. "Before you even ask, it's Inglewood and co.'s flat-warming, don't you remember?"
    She grabbed him by the arm and began to tow both him and Ellie towards the front door.
    "But but I'm all sweaty!" James complained, straining his neck to catch a glimpse of his reflection as Max pulled him past one of the few artworks that adorned the walls of the flat. Max sighed again "Don't you EVER check facebook, James? It's a tight, bright and white party. You will fit right in. Now, hurry the hell up, you're wasting valuable drinking time!"


    'I don't really feel very bright,' grumbled James, as Max hustled him into a hallway. He tripped slightly over a loose floorboard, earning an elbow jab.

    'You're hurting!

    'Pssh, wuss.' They came to a door, narrow, wooden, and covered in posters of Chuck Norris. James eyed them warily. He didn't like the feel of this.

    Sounds that could be associated with drinking issued from the other side of the door. James noticed that the posters had been wittily arranged so that the doorknob coincided with a certain part of Mr Norris' anatomy.

    'Funny. It's locked.' Max released him to dig through her pocket. James gingerly checked for bruises. He was pretty sure his rib was fractured from the force of her elbow, but he was trying to be manly about it. And he was afraid complaint would cause Max to glare at him.

    It wasn't like James to act like a petulant toddler, but it really had been a hard day. And Max was being so intense. He began, darkly, to suspect that something other than drinking was at foot.

    'Why are you in such a hurry to get boozed up, anyway?' He paused, and a sly look moved over his face like egg custard slipping down a wall.

    'It's not something to do with Mark, is it?

    Max gave him a foul look. 'I am not aware that Mark is any of your business. or mine. I don't even know if he'll be there or not.

    Ignoring his taunts of ooh, Mr Inglewood, she unearthed a small key that looked as if it had been carved with wood.

    She glared at it. She glared at the door.

    'Ah, so it's like that, is it?' she muttered. Then she darted forward, shoved the key in the lock, twisted it madly, and wrenched it out again.

    'OK'. She wiped beads of sweat away. 'I think we can go in'.

    As James reached rather tentatively for Chuck's knob, the door slammed into his face. He reeled back in pain, blinking away tears and fumbling for his glasses, sure he’d just been roundhouse kicked. When his vision cleared, and he'd pushed his glasses back onto his smarting nose, he saw Ellie Chen was standing in the open doorway, glaring at him.

    James had always had a soft spot for (well, a full blown crush on) Ellie. So he was sorry to see that she was chewing on a strand of her hair, something she only did when she was nervous or angry. The rest of her hair fell in a black curtain around her face, though her sticking out ears ruined the effect somewhat.

    'Ellie. How did you get there before us?' Max demanded.

    'Never mind that. Hurry up'.

    James just had time to wonder, miserably, why all the girls were bullying him today, before he was shoved through the door and into oblivion.

    It was cold, and there were stars.

    He lay and stared at them, and wondered what happened to all the drinks he'd been promised. So I've died, he thought, glad of the rest. Then a sharp boot dug into him and he was bossed back to life.

    'For God's sake, what are you going to sleep for? We have to get a move on.'



    “Call me Ishmael” he groaned as he squeezed his eyes closed “cos you are a big white wanker.” He stretched and then yelped as a boot yet again made friends with his ribs.

    “Just five more minutes, Mum.” He moaned and opened his eyes to see an enraged female face staring down at him.

    “Oh. Ellie. Ah ha. Hi. Listen, about that money...” he began but got no further before the boot reintroduced itself to his stomach, paying a casual visit to his spine on the way through.
    “Forget this guy.” Said the voice that had awakened him “He’s a major flake from back in the day. In fact…” finished Ellie thoughtfully, bending over the prone body at her feet and rummaging in its black jeans pockets. She produced a wallet with a triumphant flourish and grimly searched its contents, emptying a couple of coins (mostly silver) into her shoulder bag with a frown of disappointment.

    “People these days.” Ellie sighed, idly untying his shoes and removing his watch to store carefully in her bag. She saw the others watching her and looked aggrieved. “What?!” They shook their heads and hauled their recovering friend to his feet.

    “Petty theft aside” said Max, frowning at Ellie “we’ve gotta go.”

    “Woah now!” said James “Let’s not leave petty theft right out of the issue here.”

    “Yeah, why don’t we pool resources? I’ll look after everyone’s credit cards, you guys can look after my watch. It’s an antique.” said Ellie, nodding eagerly.

    “You bought that at the markets for $2 and a Batman sticker, I was there!” exclaimed Mark “And it was MY sticker!”

    “It was a totally awesome sticker man.” Agreed James solemnly, unaware of the quietly fuming Max.

    “We. Have. To. GO, you cul-de-sacs of evolution! Now MOVE!” she shouted, grabbing both James and Ellie firmly by the sleeves and marching them from the room.

    “I freakin’ loved that sticker.” said Mark as he scuffed the dusty floor with one shoe, moodily staring at the myriad stains on the floor of the apartment.

    “MARK!” screamed Max and he sighed, and exited as gracefully as he could manage muttering all the while about shrieking harpies and their lack of empathy.



    Each colour represents a contribution by another author. If you wish to help me write this story then you can send me a PM here and I will give you some details [I use a waiting list based approach].

    More information here: http://5o1.co.cc/?page=Distributed_Story
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    master5o1
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    Re: Original Content thread

    Post  master5o1 on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:36 am

    Hephaestus wrote:ummm

    Rolling Eyes

    d/w It won't be like that Larry+Pauline copypasta troll post Razz
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    Hephaestus
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    Re: Original Content thread

    Post  Hephaestus on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:38 am

    master5o1 wrote:
    Hephaestus wrote:ummm

    Rolling Eyes

    d/w It won't be like that Larry+Pauline copypasta troll post Razz

    No, that's just as original as I can get.
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    master5o1
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    Re: Original Content thread

    Post  master5o1 on Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:40 am

    Hephaestus wrote:
    master5o1 wrote:
    Hephaestus wrote:ummm

    Rolling Eyes

    d/w It won't be like that Larry+Pauline copypasta troll post Razz

    No, that's just as original as I can get.

    Add another m to your ummm and it will be a little more original...or, maybe, mix up ew and um together and make something like...ewum (pronounced more like eyum)

    Rag_Bag
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    Re: Original Content thread

    Post  Rag_Bag on Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:36 pm

    I am the Optimistic Pessimist of the Happy Embarassed
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    master5o1
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    Re: Original Content thread

    Post  master5o1 on Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:52 am

    Rag_Bag wrote:I am the Optimistic Pessimist of the Happy Embarassed

    I don't believe you.

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    Re: Original Content thread

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