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    Traditional Roles In The Home

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    Waireka
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    Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Waireka on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:06 pm

    Are they outdated or are they making a comeback?

    Are the roles interchangable between sexes? Eg. Stay-At-Home-Dad.
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    Psalter
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Psalter on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:09 pm

    Definitely interchangable... but I believe in a genetic predisposition to particular roles... people will argue cultural construction though.
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    Waireka
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Waireka on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:09 pm

    I personally like traditional roles in a home, men and women for whatever reason are physically and mentally different, therefore I see seperate roles as natural. Even the animal kingdom demonstrates this often.

    As for being interchangable, my Dad was a great SAHD, my mother would've been terrible as a SAHM, but I definitely benefited from having a parent at home in my years leading up to school.
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    Tikva
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Tikva on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:10 pm

    I believe that they are interchangeable, and when it comes to a couple with children, certainly not outdated. I personally believe that children need at least one Parent who is present at home when they are, or at times when they could be. If there's one thing we need more of it is a Parent being home after school for teenagers...........
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    Waireka
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Waireka on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:13 pm

    I would love to see every family in NZ being single income families...

    Taxing families as units rather than individuals, secondary tax on the second income earners to discourage having parents out of the home, but that IS extreme, but ideal in my head.
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    Tikva
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Tikva on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:20 pm

    Waireka wrote:I would love to see every family in NZ being single income families...

    Taxing families as units rather than individuals, secondary tax on the second income earners to discourage having parents out of the home, but that IS extreme, but ideal in my head.

    I would too. There would be so many advantages to society as a whole if we could get back to single income families!
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    Waireka
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Waireka on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:25 pm

    I'm quite happy to play the 'wife' in our home. I bake, do the washing, cook, clean and tidy the house, hubby does the lawns, cleans the car etc...

    I know the parenting roles will be different... even when we have babies here for the day, he changes nappies, does some of the feeds without questioning it or assuming that as a woman I should do it.

    Happy balance, but it's what works for us, it's not everyones cup-of-tea.
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    Psalter
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Psalter on Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:28 pm

    Waireka wrote:I'm quite happy to play the 'wife' in our home. I bake, do the washing, cook, clean and tidy the house, hubby does the lawns, cleans the car etc...

    I know the parenting roles will be different... even when we have babies here for the day, he changes nappies, does some of the feeds without questioning it or assuming that as a woman I should do it.

    Happy balance, but it's what works for us, it's not everyones cup-of-tea.

    This.
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    Diaz
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Diaz on Tue Apr 14, 2009 2:23 pm

    "There would be so many advantages to society as a whole if we could get back to single income families!"

    Would there be? Population demographics mean that in time, there will be much fewer workers supporting an aging population, where would the country be then with a rule that means of a couple, only one can work once children arrive on the scene? You'd be getting rid of half the potential workforce. That's not to mention even servicing a reasonable mortgage these days is nigh on impossible on the average wage. Not much use yearning for the old days when that could happen either, they are gone for ever with house prices rising almost continuously.

    Going back to basically enforcing that on marriage and having children women left their roles in the workplace (considering that would normally be the default position) would in many cases lead to highly skilled people doing drudge work and being bored out of their brains. Not every woman is happy to mark time by working in a brain dead job until they have children, me being one of them and I'd see it as a huge waste to see any educated person give up working just because they have a uterus. I've always worked, the education, skills and role I have developed over many years is IMO valuable even if it's only part-time work now to fit in with family and other commitments. It doesn't necessarily mean that because you work, no one is there for the kids.

    I do think that it more or less naturally falls on the woman to do inside stuff while the men do the heavier stuff, I think maybe because it's traditional or just simply easier that way (line of least resistance) but it works much better if both people in the relationship pull their weight. In some ways 'women can do anything' was kind of counter-productive because it just meant women ended up doing traditional roles plus work, but that's no excuse for reverting back to traditional roles - instead it's an excuse for working for an more even distribution of roles within the household. I find it interesting that that often it's almost a surprise to see a man/father get stuck into helping with children, I'd see that as being involved and something they should be doing. It's like solo dads get a lot of praise for doing what women have been doing for ever with no one noticing, I always wonder why even though my brother in law is one such person and does a great job.
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    debs
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  debs on Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:35 pm

    I suppose I do live in the new traditional way. I stay home with the kids, cook and do all the housework. But I also am very independant. My husbands job means that I have to be and often refer to myself as a solo, married mum.

    But the difference between our new world and the old, is this is what I CHOOSE, I love staying at home with my kids, and I love the lifestyle that we both work very hard to achieve. And although finding work in my town is impossible as a lack of childcare and jobs would make that very difficult, as would the fact I live rurally. Its OK, because that is the lifestyle WE have chosen.

    My hubby when needed, will slot in and as dad, take on the caring role when required and does it relatively OK, lol (sorry just giggling to myself at last weekend, left hubby with girls while my son was in hospital and they had sausages with every meal, tehehehehe. But hey, they were happy) He certainly helped with nappies when needed and still is such an actively involved dad when he can be.

    I am sorry to say that while I see the bigger picture re: diaz's post. My ideal would be lexi's world.
    But that is because as a mother, I DO believe that its whats better for the family unit.

    But that would be the ideal and not all that practical.
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    woody67
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  woody67 on Tue Apr 14, 2009 11:11 pm

    Hell I would be totally up shit creek if we were more traditional ,I do the housework ,cooking etc but unlike many it's not where I get my "life energy" I love that I work! and if I didnt have a child I would work full time and employ a cleaner! However like others here I firmly believe that one parent should be at home with their child and so my career has been moulded around that.
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    canterella
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  canterella on Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:06 am

    In the ideal world the parents (mum or dad) would be able to choose what lifestyle suits them most - to be a working parent or a stay at home parent, no matter which sex they are. I know that my OH would be happy to be a SAH dad if I had a job in which I'd be able to earn more than he can earn.
    Being a SAH parent can be just as fulfilling as being a working parent and I believe that some children can benefit greatly from having a parent who is not work-stressed with them. On the other hand, no parent should be forced to be an at-home parent if they don't wish so. And although it is wrong to expect from women to give up their work careers just because they have become a mother, I believe that it's wrong too to force them back to work too soon after giving birth (like the Labour policies favouring working mothers as opposed to SAH mums). Some European states actually encourage mothers to stay at home with various incentives, from longer maternal leave to early retirement from work.
    The traditional roles for males and females have become less obvious nowadays, especially in relationships where both partners are working and share house chores and childcare.

    Kosmick
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Kosmick on Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:30 am

    Reasonably traditional in our house, but we both do dishes or even mow the lawns, whatever we feel like doing on the day at that time.
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    Psalter
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Psalter on Wed Apr 15, 2009 6:19 am

    Kosmick wrote:Reasonably traditional in our house, but we both do dishes or even mow the lawns, whatever we feel like doing on the day at that time.

    That is not traditional. I suggest you look it up.

    Kosmick
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Kosmick on Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:10 am

    Psalter wrote:
    Kosmick wrote:Reasonably traditional in our house, but we both do dishes or even mow the lawns, whatever we feel like doing on the day at that time.

    That is not traditional. I suggest you look it up.

    Reasonable was the first word...............not all 'jobs' are interchangable
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    Janny
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  Janny on Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:49 am

    In our family, I am the stay at home parent... and I love it. We are quite traditional as in I do the cooking and cleaning during the week... on the weekends, my husband and I both do what needs to be done, although he does do all the "boy jobs" and work around the section, cleaning the pool, doing lawns, trimming trees etc. He is very active with the kids and always has been.

    I grew up in a single parent family and my mother had to work all hours of the day to support us..... as I was growing up I was determined to "be there" for my kids... to be able to do school trips, parent help, to spend time with them when I wasnt rushed or tired or stressed.

    We are very fortunate that my husband earns a very good income and I dont "need" to work. The career I had before kids was awesome and I earnt a very good living from it... I chose to give up work to be at home and can go back to my career if and when I need/want to. Right now I dont WANT to do that.

    Oh and I HATE seeing a man do ironing!! Tis a pet peeve of mine.
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    brendanj
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  brendanj on Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:01 am

    "There would be so many advantages to society as a whole if we could get back to single income families!"

    what a can o' worms!

    society needs to clearly define what a family actually is first.
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    brendanj
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    Re: Traditional Roles In The Home

    Post  brendanj on Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:03 am

    I hate ironing

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